A boy can grow up to be a happy man without a father. A boy can grow up to be a happy man without a mother. These conclusions are suggested by a research project by Prof. Dr. Katja Nowacki, which takes a look at diverse family structures.
In a research project, Prof. Nowacki, Dean of the Faculty of Applied Social Studies at Fachhochschule Dortmund, in cooperation with Prof. Dr. Katja Sabisch from Ruhr University Bochum, examined the attitudes of young men with and without a migrant background towards gender and LGBTIQ.
Unexpected result
This revealed surprising findings about young men's relationships with their parents. Prof. Nowacki: "In the study, we asked around 1000 young men, including students at Fachhochschule Dortmund, how satisfied they are with their masculinity."
The questions were, for example: Do you see yourself as a typical man? Would your peers, i.e. your friends and acquaintances of the same age, think it would be okay if you were involved in things that are considered to be girls' or women's things? How much pressure do you feel from your parents and peers that you should behave like a "typical man"?
Other questions focused on how the respondents rated their relationships with their mother and father. The result: the more positively they described these relationships, the more satisfied they were with their masculinity.
This is not surprising at first: "We know from attachment research that positive relationships with parents and peers mean that young men feel less pressure and are less worried about not being a real man," says Prof. Nowacki. "But what is surprising about the current result is the following: This positive effect is no weaker for mothers than for fathers."
Mothers can do everything - fathers too
The relationship with the mother has an even greater effect on satisfaction than the other types of relationship. This is probably partly due to the fact that mothers are still usually the most important caregiver for young men.
Nevertheless, the following can be deduced from this: "If a positive relationship with the mother has a sufficiently strong positive effect on the son's masculinity, then the traditional certainty that only the father makes a boy a real man is wrong."
Prof. Nowacki emphasizes that this does not speak against fathers. But it shows that children who grow up with only their mother or with two mothers can develop just as well as others. The same applies to children of only one father or of two fathers.
Parental roles are diverse
The question of whether a young man is satisfied with himself therefore essentially depends on the quality of the relationship with the primary caregiver or primary caregivers who cover the needs that are distributed between the mother and father in the traditional distribution of roles - regardless of gender.
There is another consequence. Opponents of equality and equal rights often argue that women should not strive for professional success because they are needed in the family to raise children.
Prof. Nowacki also believes that this cliché has been refuted: Overcoming the classic distribution of roles within the family is not a threat to children's development - especially as the classic distribution of roles is not genetically determined, but rather a consequence of socialization.
To the study
Prof. Dr. Katja Nowacki, Prof. Dr. Katja Sabisch (Ruhr University Bochum) and Dr. Silke Remiorz (Fachhochschule Dortmund) have published the results of the research project as a book: "Junge Männer in Deutschland. Einstellungen junger Männer mit und ohne Zuwanderungsgeschichte zu Gender und LSBTI" is published by Springer Verlag, ISBN 978-3-658-39234-5, and can be borrowed from the Fachhochschule Dortmund library.
The actual purpose of the project was to test a prejudice: namely that men with a migration background tend to be hostile towards women and people with other sexual orientations. The result: the prejudice is not true. Rather, the reasons for such behavior are membership of a minority, poverty, pressure to integrate and a lack of prospects - but not a migration background.
The research project was funded by the Federal Ministry of Education and Research.